If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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