Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
