I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i drank out of a bidet.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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