hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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