so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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