He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So. Much. Porn.
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