Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
