I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
