More tranny stories later!
Do you still have your period?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
