I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
