this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
