i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
