where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
