I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
