I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I pour the whiskey from now on
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
