I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
