he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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