p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
