What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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