So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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