this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
