Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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