I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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