You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
