Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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