How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
