I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
