I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
