his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
