That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
