Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
