Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
