hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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