Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
