she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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