PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
