Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
