So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
