what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
