yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
