As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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