u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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