Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
