i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
