if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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