did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
