is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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