question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
