giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I enjoy the company of your penis
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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