its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
